WS Chronicle

By Cindy Argiento

 It was an unbelievable day! What a start to the New Year!

The sun was shining and the birds were chirping. At breakfast I read the obituaries and mine wasn’t there. I knew things would go my way. 

The cereal I chose out of the ten opened boxes in the pantry wasn’t stale. The pants I put on were loose. My neighbor’s dog didn’t pee in my yard. My neighbor posted a ‘For Sale’ sign on their lawn. 

I asked my husband his thoughts and he had one. He said, “Let’s eat out tonight.” Unbelievable!

The kid at the drive-thru got my order right. I found ten dollars in my jeans pocket. I made a phone call and spoke to a real live person. The toothpaste didn’t drip on my blouse when I brushed my teeth. The television remote was on top of the television. The first pencil I grabbed from the desk drawer had a point. 

My umbrella didn’t turn inside out because of the wind. I didn’t have to wait at the doctor’s office. My doctor told me exercise was no longer necessary, I was a perfect, physical specimen! Could the day get any better?

Apparently so! The person in front of me in the express line had less than 12 items. The cashier was friendly. 

The movie I saw that afternoon was as good as the trailer. The person sitting next to me didn’t talk on their cell phone. 

I didn’t need my child to open the childproof cap. My son didn’t ask me if I personally knew the guy who invented fire. My kids cleaned voluntarily without threat of physical harm. Shredded tissue didn’t cling to wet laundry. I untangled the cling wrap on the first try. 

Courtesy was the name of the game on the roadways – nobody cut me off. I caught all green lights. A stranger held the door and smiled. 

My long-wearing lipstick lasted; my no-flake mascara didn’t flake. My all-day deodorant stayed with me all day. My wrinkle cream de-wrinkled. My whitening toothpaste whitened. My 18-hour bra lasted 18 hours and 30 seconds. 

The evening news didn’t show coverage of COVID-19. My book reached number one on the New York Times bestseller list. 

George Clooney called and said we couldn’t be together because of my husband. I replied, “What husband?” 

OK, that last one was pushing it too far. You don’t believe me anymore, do you? I crossed the line from unbelievable into ridiculous fantasy with the COVID-19 line, didn’t I? 

I told you in the beginning it was an unbelievable day. Now, what would your unbelievable day be like?

Cindy Argiento is a freelance columnist, public speaker and playwright. To contact, book her as a speaker, or read about her play, “Stanley and Alice,” visit www.cindyargiento.com.

For Seniors Only welcomes submissions for the Writer’s Corner from both beginning and experienced writers. To inquire about guidelines, contact Associate Editor Judie Holcomb-Pack at judiehp@triad.rr.com.