WS Chronicle

By Busta Brown

Do you want to go into 2023 stress free? Here’s a few tips from our Business of the Month. Avoid stressful triggers, express gratitude, and when the weather permits, go outside. Practice financial and spiritual self-care, and be kind and loving to your body. 

I asked Nicole Moore-Geter, how can we identify our setbacks before they hold us back? “I find the best way to do that is to begin journaling, knowing how to and why you’re journaling. That’s the best way to track setbacks, moves, catch patterns, behaviors and thought processes. I’m an avid believer in journaling,” said Nicole. 

Nicole is the owner and CEO of Counseling with a Purpose in Winston-Salem. Some of the services she provides are virtual sessions, anger management, and therapy for ADHD and behavior issues, bipolar disorder, chronic pain, depression and others.

Counseling with a Purpose also provides services for conflict resolutions. So, I asked the mother of two a question that has so many couples conflicted. When a couple loses trust, intimacy, and becomes disconnected, is it possible to get the relationship back on track? 

“What I would ask you is, how do you know when you have it? That’s what’s most important. Because being present and being with someone is very different. You can live a life being very committed to your partner and being as distant as possible without rocking the boat. And that’s what I see with most relationships,” Nicole explained. What causes someone to be distant from their significant other? “You can care and love someone deeply, but your painful past and learning experience cause you to subconsciously commit to being as distant as possible from this person. So even though you’re closer to that person than anyone else, that doesn’t mean you’re emotionally connected to them, because you can’t have true love and a connection without vulnerability,” said Nicole. 

“With people of color, vulnerability is so difficult because we come into this world endangered. So, we’re taught to protect ourselves as we age and learn to have relationships.” 

Do we really know if we’re connected with other people? “People should learn and be curious about that, and explore what that is before they get into a relationship,” shared Nicole. 

What I admire most about Nicole Moore-Geter is her transparency and passion to help people find their WHY. I truly believe when we learn our WHY, success and happiness will follow.

Another service Counseling with a Purpose provides is help with stress management. I find that one of the greatest stress triggers is fighting a painful past. I asked Nicole, how does someone get over their painful past? She was very transparent. And oftentimes, we’re not ready for the truth. “I’m not big on giving tips. I’m big on truth and whatever is clinically factual. So, the first thing I focus on is the buy-in. Because if you’re not ready for the process and to get through your past, then it’s kind of futile. You’re not going to move forward nor make progress. No matter what advice I give you, it won’t be productive if you’re not ready. So, you must be honest with yourself and know when you’re ready. That’s the first step. Make sure you know what change you want to see, and I can help get you there,” said the wife of nine years. 

Her husband, Christopher Geter, is her rock. “He coaches for Parkland High School and is very active in the community.” He’s also the COO of his wife’s company. “Whenever I need him, he’s always there for me. He’s been extremely supportive and a big part of my success. He makes sure our clients have what they need, and makes sure the business runs smoothly,” Nicole said while blushing. When speaking about Christopher, she showed all the signs of a woman in love. It was sweet. 

Nicole also credits her father, Bud Hayes, for her success. “I was raised by my father. Although he was disabled, he was the epitome of resilience. He would never stop or say no. Until this day, I tell my children, no is just no for now. He showed me what hard work is, in a different fashion,” she said warmly and softly.

Where did the vision for Counseling with a Purpose come from? After a bad accident in 2016, Nicole wanted to do something with her life that had purpose. “I began to notice that so many people had lots of barriers in the way of them getting the help and support they needed with mental health. And a lot of private practices were leaning away from accepting insurance. So, I was like wow! I really need to do something to help,” she said. And she did! She decided to open her own practice, but couldn’t come up with a name. “God spoke to me and said, ‘Counseling with a Purpose.’ So that was it. I went into my business head first,” said an excited Nicole. 

In 2018, Counseling with a Purpose was born. “I know where my help comes from. So, I did everything I needed to do to be obedient,” shared Mrs. Moore-Geter. What sets her practice apart from the rest? “This is my calling and my transparency with my clients,” said Nicole. She’s extremely easy to talk to, very inspiring and comforting, which are very important attributes for someone in her profession. 

Something else I admire about Nicole is how open and honest she was about her family’s battle with mental health. “The Lord walked my family and I through it, and that’s how I know what works. I have life-learned and painful experiences that I’ve overcome, which helps me with a point of reference when I engage with my clients. I tell my clients, I come into this process as a clinician, but also as a human. I’m cutting and pasting this thing just like you. I’m cutting and pasting COVID, expectations, relationships and marriage, just like you. The only difference is we have a different wealth of knowledge to pull from. And when they leave my office, they’re going to know themselves better than I do,” said a passionate Nicole. I’m sure that’s what makes her amazing at what she does.

As I was looking through the Counseling with a Purpose website, something caught my eye. Brainspoting. So, I asked the certified Brainspoting therapist what it was. “It’s more geared toward clients that deal with trauma. What I’ve learned about trauma, it’s not what we’ve been through, it’s how our brain experienced it. Which means you don’t have a lot of control over that. Oftentimes we feel as though we haven’t been through these traumatic events because our brain disassociates to protect us. Our brains may reencode how we experience space or time. Our brain does that to protect us. Your brain reencodes how you experienced time. So, at that point your brain is protecting you. And when that happens, there’s gaps and memories that you won’t be able to access with your thinking mind. So, what Brainspotting does, it gives you a calm environment to be able to access some of these memories and place narratives on them. There are impacts on how we engage with the world. Brainspotting helps us unlearn and relearn how past trauma impacts or affects your behaviors,” shared Nicole. 

Counseling with a Purpose also provides services for trauma focused CBT (an evidence-based treatment for children and adolescents impacted by trauma and their parents or caregivers). 

The practice added another amazing and well-qualified therapist to its roster, Calvin Manning, MS, NCC, LCMHC, LCAS. Manning is a licensed clinical health counselor and licensed clinical addiction specialist. 

The Chronicle’s Business of the Month is Counseling with a Purpose. For more information, call 336-682-5982, send them an email at info@counselingwithapurpose.org, or visit http://counselingwithapurpose.org/.