WS Chronicle

By Busta Brown

In 2003, according to Micha James, she experienced an unthinkable tragedy that would silence most women, “I was handcuffed and raped with a knife put to my throat. I went to the police to discuss what happened, but I had washed off the DNA evidence, so it was my word against his,” said Micha. She added, “He lawyered up and denied his actions, which left me to deal with the emotional repercussions. That was one of the most disheartening parts of my life.” 

Micha said the effects of being violated can last a lifetime. “I’m in therapy to deal with the negative emotions from that experience, among other things.” 

After living through something as terrifying and violating as rape, Micha’s drive to take control of her life is something to be admired. “I’ve learned to not be afraid to say what others in the room may be thinking. I know what it feels like to not be heard, so I unapologetically and fearlessly use my voice. That doesn’t mean I don’t get hurt or feel isolated, but I know the purpose of what I’m saying and why I’m saying it,’’ she said.

James turned her pain into a passion to help others navigate as parents, employees and life as Black people. In 2019, she started a blog called MichaisMom.com. “I used to chronicle on Facebook about my parenting and work experiences and my life in general. People would encourage me to write on a different platform, but I didn’t think anyone would want to read what I had to say.” 

It was the feedback from her followers and being fired from a ghostwriting position that gave her the ammunition to take her Facebook chronicles on the road. “After writing a parenting chronicle about a situation with my son, someone messaged me to thank me for my transparency and shared they were experiencing something similar. I asked my son for permission to share anything about him because social media can be volatile. What I see as innocent can become embarrassing or a space for bullying after his peers read it, so I always make sure he’s comfortable with what I share. He approved, so I launched the blog,” said Micha.

In 2020, Kellie Easton, who is the executive director of Action4Equity in Winston-Salem, offered Micha an opportunity she couldn’t refuse. She’s now the voice and face of the Our Kijiji Vlog, where Kijiji means “village” in Swahili. The Vlog is under the Action4Equity umbrella and Micha doesn’t take that lightly. “When Kellie asked me to do this, it felt great, but it also made me a bit nervous because I know how much of a powerhouse she is when it comes to all things Black and how impactful Action4Equity is to this community. I took on the challenge because, after feeling silenced in 2003, I was determined to speak up for those who feel like they don’t have a voice,” said Micha. 

On the Vlog, the mother of one encourages her 18-year-old son and his friends to be honest as they build trusting and loving relationships. “I recently talked to them about the importance of young men their age advocating for anyone who has been violated. He saying, ‘snitches get stitches.’ No! Speak up for people,’’ shared a very passionate Micha. Her ultimate goal “is to help the Black community be our best as it relates to social-emotional health and trauma resilience. All of that is being infused into the work I’m doing on the Vlog platform.”

In addition to her many hats, Micha is a trauma resilience trainer through the Center for Trauma Resilient Communities. “We learn about trauma-informed care. It’s almost like CPR, but for trauma.” 

Micha shared some info that most parents rarely know. “Students in the district are to learn 100 sight words by the end of their kindergarten year. I recently learned none of those include feeling words. There is a Feelings Wheel that lists several feeling words, but many of us can only name 10 to 15. We know how we feel after experiencing trauma, but most don’t know how to articulate what we’re feeling. That’s why feeling words, social-emotional learning, and trauma-informed care are so important,” said Micha. She added that these practices will not only help the Black community recognize and communicate their traumatic experiences, but will also push us to get help for them so that the generations to come will have much lower numbers of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs).

The word is spreading quickly about the Our Kijiji Vlog and the amazing work Micha is doing. “I’m receiving invitations to partner with others to facilitate this work and it makes me feel good because that means my partners believe others can benefit from the transparency and authenticity of my voice.” 

Micha shared the impact of having a website that gives the Black community access to Black-owned resources. “As I’m interviewing guests who have businesses or resources relevant to our community, I send a request to get them added to the site. I want Black people to know the Vlog is a space for us. All of us. All generations to discuss all topics because I know I’m not the only parent who has a son walking around in 95-degree weather with a hoodie on,” joked Micha. She said this world can be so isolating for Black people, so we need a space that is “for us, by us, to help us be our BEST us!” 

My phenomenal Person of the Week is Micha James. For more info, visit www.ourkijiji.org or @ourkijiji on Instagram.