WS Chronicle

By Busta Brown

Alexandria Shelton-Brabham has the kind of personality that brightens a room without even trying. As she spoke, her laughter and smile echoed with happiness, no matter her circumstances. Her gentle spirit could melt away the heaviest of moods. But beneath it all, Alexandria Shelton-Brabham carried a story of resilience, pain and, ultimately, of triumph. 

In 2018, Alexandria had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Her faith remained unmovable. “When the oncologist told us, my mother and my sister just started crying and falling out. I knew I was going to be OK. I said, what’s next? Where do we go from here? I’m a football mom with three boys, so I’m not going to cry about it. I had to be strong and figure out how to tackle this situation and hit this head-on. Let’s go!”.said Alexandria. She was wearing a t-shirt that said, “God’s got me.” 

As you continue to read her testimony, you’ll realize that God’s got you, too.

After the diagnosis, the wife of 13 years was told that she has stage two breast cancer. Her family immediately began to cry out loud, but not Alexandria. She went into a superhero mommy mode. “I told them to suck it up and stop crying. I know y’all are hurting, but I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t want to feel bad or sorry for myself because I had a three-year-old at home. In my mind, my heart, and in my soul, I wasn’t going to leave this earth, because he needed me. That was my purpose for just wanting to drive straight head on and face this,” said the mother of six. She and her husband Curtis have a daughter together, she has two sons, and he has two girls. 

I asked if she could take us on her journey with the treatments. “The first treatment was 12 weeks of chemo. The first chemo treatment they call Red Devil, because it puts you on your ****, makes you itch, throw up and just feel miserable. You get the port that goes under your skin, which I still have the scar on my body. They take a needle and hook you up, you sit there, and you get hot. And then you get cool. And then you feel like you’re radioactive for a little while,” said Alexandria.

During her 12 weeks of chemo treatments, the doctor advised the Winston-Salem native to avoid contact with others for a couple of days “because they’ve killed my white blood cells. So, you don’t want to be around anyone who has a cold, or anyone who might have a virus.” Alexandria compared her treatments to COVID. “I had it two or three times. It feels like you hit a brick wall. You can’t smell anything. You can’t taste anything. But I could smell the chemo. My body was sore and aching, my elbows were turning black, my knees were turning black, and I lost my hair.” 

The BlueCross BlueShield of NC employee didn’t complain; instead she acted and found a reason to give God glory. “I was thankful, because now I can learn how to make wigs during this process of losing my hair. Until then, I’ll just put a scarf on. It’s no big deal. God is still good in all of this.”

After her 12 weeks of chemo, Alexandria had two lumpectomies 30 days apart,” And then I had 33 sessions of radiation therapy. Radiation probably hurts the most. It was more painful than chemo, because basically your skin is peeled off. It burned off. The radiation just seeps into your skin to the point where it starts to burn. It hurt and it was traumatizing to see my skin just turn black and then turn red and then just start to peel.” But what was even more painful for the supermom was “the thought of not being here for your family or your children. That was more mentally hard on me. Just the thought of ‘what if.’” 

So, when the doctor advised her to stay out of the sun, she wasn’t hearing it. “That’s not gonna work for us. It was every other day my two-year-old and I were at the pool. I had a big sun hat on to make sure I was shaded, while he was having fun learning how to swim. I couldn’t keep him away from being a kid. I wanted to make sure he still had that outside kid activity. He enjoyed the fresh air. Even though I was tired, I wasn’t going to allow this to hold me down. I would ask God for strength every day, so that I could play with him. God gave me that strength.” 

Going to work gave Alexandria strength as well. “I worked through the whole process.” She’s a business analyst for BlueCross BlueShield of NC. “I worked Monday through Thursday. I had chemo on Friday, so I took the weekend to recover. I worked from home, so it wasn’t as hard mentally.”

Although Alexandria is the true definition of a super woman, we’re all stronger together. So, I asked about the importance of having a support team. “I called a warrior mom. Her name was Sue Davidson, and she’s no longer with us. She had terminal lung cancer, but she would literally text me every day and call and check on me, even when she wasn’t feeling well. When they say you’re never alone going through the journey, you’re never alone. There’s always someone here to help you; you might not see it, but it’s there. It’s your family, your friends, or sometimes it’s people you didn’t even know, knew you. People came from everywhere taking me in, giving me a hug or some type of encouragement. There’s my mother, my father, my siblings and my husband. The church that I was going to at the time was sending me books, scriptures and messages. The nurses at the hospital, the technicians, the radiation techs. I wouldn’t even be able to go to radiation without them, because there were days when my son didn’t go to school, and I had to bring him to the radiation (treatment) with me. They would take him back there with them where it was safe. Cancer Services were amazing for me. They also helped provide Christmas gifts and just durable medical equipment I might have needed. It was just overwhelming support. It was wonderful.”

Now that Alexandria has recovered from breast cancer, she feels amazing. “I’m six years cancer free. I feel healthy. I feel good. I feel strong. Joy lives inside of me now. I got a job promotion, and I’m working with different nonprofits and other organizations. Things are going great.” 

She also received some well-deserved recognition. “Drive for the Cure is sponsored by BlueCross BlueShield of North Carolina. They recognize their employees who’ve had a battle with breast cancer by promoting this Drive for the Cure event, in addition to having a very nice banquet and ceremony at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Every year they ask for survivors to submit their stories, so I submitted my story, and was chosen. I was the honorary starter, the honorary survivor at Charlotte Motor Speedway. I also did a few interviews and waved the green flag to start the race. I had to climb a ladder to get up there, to wave the flag, but it was absolutely amazing. When I waved the flag, I felt a flood of emotions. I saw everything I’ve been through. After that last car passed and I was done waving the flag, I felt so blessed to be there at that moment. You know, to be able to really share my life and journey on the platform.  It was a beautiful feeling to have a NASCAR (vehicle) wrapped with my name on it. It felt so good.”

We spoke about the importance of self-care during her treatments. “If you don’t take care of you first, you won’t get the healing you need to take care of others. I’ve been that person who has always loved to take care of people, but I can’t help you if I don’t help myself. Stop and pause to get your nails done, that’ll make you feel better. Get a massage, that’ll make your body feel better. Go read a book, sit on the beach or go to the lake and just breathe, and thank God for every moment that you have. It helps you feel like yourself again. In addition to that, go to the doctor and get your checkups, get your mammograms and get your feet checked. Watch your sugar, eat better, exercise, and stay away from processed food. Make sure your cholesterol is good, get more exercise and watch your diet,” shared Alexandria.

Throughout her journey, the Salem College alum did have a few questions for God. “There were nights where I would just ask, Why? Because I don’t smoke. I don’t do drugs. I’ve never done anything really bad. So why am I going through this?” I asked, what was God’s reply? She said, “God told me that it’s not my fault. I didn’t do anything wrong, but I needed to be an example for someone to see that they can get through this too, and I’ve been really reluctant to share my story because I didn’t know how. Then I remembered that someone at my job went through it, and she was there for me. Now someone else at my job is going through it. And I’ve been there for her. It’s like continuously giving back, empowering each other that they can and will win this battle against breast cancer. With God, all things are possible. Continue to just be patient with yourself because you’re not going to get through the treatment overnight or come out of it 100%. But by the grace of God, we’re here. You have a purpose to be a support system, and that support is greatly appreciated.”

My Phenomenal Person of the Week is Alexandria Shelton-Brabham.