Commentary: While Mother’s Day is over, our hearts and minds never forget
By Dr. James B. Ewers Jr.
Mother’s Day 2019 is now over. May 12th was a special day for moms everywhere. Gifts of all kinds were given to our moms to show love and appreciation. We spared no expense in giving gifts because our moms spared no expense in raising us.
Our moms gave us hope and inspiration. They gave us a “can do” spirit. They believed in us and made us believe that we could achieve. Mothers stayed in our corner when others left our corner. We told them about our dreams for success, so they instilled in us successful habits.
As children, we didn’t always want to do our homework, but our moms had different ideas, so we had to do our homework. When we walked into a room, we always spoke and said hello. We used words like please and thank you. If we failed to be courteous, we would be corrected for our bad behavior.
The lessons I learned from my mom have lasted me a lifetime. They were ingrained in me and I never leave home without them. There is something about good manners that people notice. When you don’t have them, people notice that, too.
As a certified member of the old school, I believe we need to bring good manners back into the picture. My mom was my parent and not my friend. When her answer was no, it was no! I had to accept it because compromise wasn’t on the table.
Now, if I decided not to accept the no answer, there were consequences to my actions. Back in the day, the phrase timeout wasn’t around. I received a spanking for my bad decision-making.
Upon reflection, what I found interesting was my mom always provided commentary during my spankings. She said how much she didn’t like doing this and that it was hurting her as well. That sounded a bit strange to me. If it was unpleasant, then why didn’t she stop immediately.
As children, we compared spanking notes because the kids in my neighborhood received spankings. What we found out was that the moms said pretty much the same thing when giving out punishment. It still didn’t ease the pain.
Being admonished for wrongdoing, eating leftovers on Mondays and being respectful were all lessons in home training. Our moms, through their actions, gave us these tenets for right living.
One part of the Mother’s Day tradition was to attend church. Adults wore a red rose if their mom was living and a white rose if she had passed away. I lost my mom at a tender age and for the longest time did not attend church on Mother’s Day. The pain was too much to handle. I finally returned to church, yet the pain was still there. Now that I am in the twilight of my life, I realize the pain will always be there.
In my private moments, I think about the happiness my mom gave me. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my mom. My mom was a registered nurse and was multi-tasking before the term was made popular. She cared and loved both my dad and me. Motherhood was made for my mom.
Mother’s Day, while celebrated in May, should be honored each day. They are our lifelines and the ones we call when we are in a jam.
Mother’s Day is celebrated in forty countries worldwide. According to the history books, Anna Jarvis was the founder of the Mother’s Day holiday in America. She was born May 1, 1864, in Webster, West Virginia, and passed away November 24, 1948, in West Chester, Pennsylvania.
I hope you enjoyed Mother’s Day and that you gave your mom joy and happiness. If your mom is in heaven, I hope the memories you have of her gave you comfort and brought a smile to your face.
This column is dedicated to my mom, Mrs. Mildred H. Ewers.
James B. Ewers Jr., Ed.D., is a former tennis champion at Atkins High School and played college tennis at Johnson C. Smith University where he was all-conference for four years. He is a retired college administrator and can be reached at ewersjr56@yahoo.com.