WS Chronicle

By Judie Holcomb-Pack

They could be called Team Gaither, the family of Donna Toney-Gaither, Tomisha Gaither and A’lani Gaither, who are enthusiastic supporters and participants in LEAD Girls of North Carolina. In an interview with The Chronicle at the LEAD Girls location on First Street, grandmother Donna said she first found out about LEAD Girls in a story about Joy Nelson Thomas, founder and executive director, in The Chronicle. She thought this would be a good experience for her granddaughter, A’lani, but at that time she was in elementary school and too young for the program.

Donna told her daughter about LEAD Girls and they agreed that it was something “to put on our calendar” for when A’lani began middle school.

They were even more convinced that this was the right place for A’lani when they talked with LEAD Girls who were at the Juneteenth Festival promoting the program. Donna remarked, “The girls were in charge of their booth and talking about LEAD girls, which impressed me.” Later she also saw them at Christmas for the City and she couldn’t wait for the time when A’lani could join the group.

When A’lani progressed to middle school they were disappointed to learn that her school didn’t have a LEAD Girls group so A’lani couldn’t join until she went to Wiley Middle School. A’lani was unaware that her grandmother and mother had their sights on her joining LEAD Girls. “I didn’t find out until they had already signed me up,” said A’lani.

“At first I was very nervous and shy, my confidence was very low. I always had it but LEAD Girls brought it out,” said A’lani. A’lani had been playing violin since first grade in the Winston-Salem Symphony’s P.L.A.Y. program. (Piedmont Learning Academy for Youth), their El-Sistema-inspired music education program which places an emphasis on the teaching of the whole child: head, heart, and hands. She was looking forward to meeting new friends and learning new things.

What makes LEAD girls unique is that while the girls are involved in their own activities, their parents can participate in the Parent’s Program. Donna and Tomisha have enjoyed being a part of this program, especially the opportunity to talk about parenting and family issues. Tomisha said that the topics can “bring out a lot of emotions” and often she and her mom would continue talking about the topic later at home. Plus, she added with a laugh, “It helps deal with the funky teenage years that we’re transitioning right now.”

Donna said, “It takes a village and while they (LEAD Girls) are focused on the child, they’re also focused on the parents.” She has been surprised at the number of people – mothers and a father or two – who come to the Parent’s Program. She and Tomisha have especially enjoyed the cooking class where they sampled foods they had never tried before and found they liked them. Other recent sessions offered Financial Freedom, Mental Health First Aid and When Love Is Not Enough.

Carrena Sherrill, resources development officer for LEAD Girls, said, “The program is in nine schools in the district. The Community Program is for any girl who doesn’t have a LEAD Girls in their school. It meets on the second and fourth Saturdays of the month. We just finished the cooking class,” Sherrill said. “These programs support the girls as well as families.”

A’lani added that the LEAD Girls sign a petition that says ”Whatever happens stays in the space.” The confidentiality is very important in building trust. Tomisha said she was glad A’lani has someone else besides her or her mother to talk to. Donna said she knows A’lani is learning a lot about communication and leadership skills and she brings them home with her. Sometimes she will notice that her grandmother is acting sad or frustrated and will say, “We need a family talk.” Tomisha adds, “We’re all learning together.”

A’lani is learning skills such as fashion design and entrepreneurship and during Fashion Camp this summer, she started her own jewelry business called Oh La La Bracelets and More. Tomisha said, “It’s hard for me to be hands off (with her business) but she’s a hussler. Now I am her employee!”

LEAD Girls has certainly brought this family closer together. Tomisha said, “Everything that they do, we are there! You show up and you show support.” She added that she’s seen changes in A’lani since joining LEAD Girls, such as “Seeing her make right choices, even as friends. … She wakes up on Saturday mornings ready to go.”

The grandmother and mother add that LEAD Girls also supports them. Donna said, “It is a safe place, it is a program that if you’re having problems with your granddaughter (or daughter), it helps with communication. This is a model that should be expanded to all North Carolina.

“It is bringing us closer together.”

For more information on LEAD Girls go to https://www.leadgirls.org/.