WS Chronicle

By Cindy Argiento

“If I suddenly got amnesia and couldn’t recall our life together, would you be upset?” I asked my husband. 

“Is this a trick question?” he asked after careful consideration. 

“Well, the husband in the movie I watched was pretty upset when his wife had amnesia and didn’t remember him. Obviously from your answer, TV husbands get upset by a wife with amnesia and real life husbands, not so much.” 

“Tell me exactly how she got amnesia,” my husband asked with sudden interest.

“Well, she was running from someone who had just broken into her bedroom. Frantic and not paying attention to where she was going, she tripped and fell down a flight of stairs, bumping her head on every step. She should never have been running in high heels. The result of all the head bopping was amnesia. Her husband seemed concerned and loving until the end when it was revealed he had hired someone to kill her in order to collect her life insurance. You find out she was loaded.” 

“You’ll never have to worry that I will hire someone to kill you for your money since $1.50 doesn’t go far these days,” he said, suppressing a chuckle.

“OK, wise guy, but the question was – would you be upset if I got amnesia? Keep in mind you would then be responsible for recapping my life up till that point.” 

“So, let me get this straight. You get amnesia, can’t remember anything, and it’s up to me to remind you of your likes and dislikes. Essentially, it would be like starting over with a new, empty-headed and impressionable you. I could tell you anything and you’d believe it,” my husband answered. Then after a pause, he continued.

“So I could tell you that you never nagged me to pick my underwear up off the floor. I could tell you it was an insult to me that you assumed when I did pick up my underwear without your prodding, it was a sign of foreplay. You would not be able to proclaim with certainty that I don’t listen to you since all past conversations have been erased from memory. You would no longer call me an “idiot” for buying you the wrong flavor of ice cream as you no longer know what flavor is your favorite. You would no longer argue with me over what movie to see as my taste in films is now yours.”

I could almost see the wheels spinning in his mind as he imagined the hypothetical advantages.

“The possibilities of how great our new life would be are staggering. I wonder what it would be like to have a wife who always agrees with me. I wonder what it would be like to have a wife who praises me instead of rolling her eyes at me on a daily basis. I wonder what it would be like to have a wife who wanted to be up close and personal, daily.”

Amused, he continued.  “I wonder what the downside would be if you got amnesia. I wonder exactly how hard someone would have to be hit on the head to get amnesia.” 

“I don’t know,” I replied, eyeing him suspiciously.

“I do know, however, this is one conversation I hope to forget.”

Cindy Argiento is a Triad freelance columnist, public speaker and playwright. To contact, book her as a speaker, or read about her play, “Stanley and Alice,” visit www.cindyargiento.com.