WS Chronicle

By Busta Brown

Jennifer Jeter’s mother passed away in 2016 due to heart failure. As an only child, the loss was extremely difficult for her. “As Black women, we’re told to be strong; you got this. There are a lot of people that pretend to be OK with staying busy. But, once you sit still, all those emotions that we held in can come crashing down all at once. causing us to go into a deep depression, have difficulty sleeping, over/under eating and social withdrawal and even thoughts of suicide” said a very emotional Jeter. 

She added that, as daughters, losing your mother takes a serious toll on your mind, body and soul, because of the special bond that a mother and daughter hold. “If you haven’t experienced the loss of a loved one, it’s extremely difficult to comfort someone that has, or comprehend their feelings. A girlfriend who still has her mother may not know how to console me or provide support because she is not experiencing the void that I am,” said Jennifer. 

Afterwards, I thought about comedian Deon Cole’s Netflix special. He shared with his audience that he had recently lost his mother and other family members, yet he still had to give them his all. Like Jennifer Jeter, he’s also an only child. “That devastated me and I’ve been messed up ever since. And I know there are a lot of people going through the same thing,” shared Cole as he held back his tears.

Like Cole, Jennifer was heartbroken by the many people who lost their mothers and decided to do something about it. A year after her mother’s death, she started an organization called I Am My Mother’s Daughter. “We are a community of daughters from various backgrounds but hold one thing in common: our mothers are no longer living. 

“We currently have close to 90 daughters (members). As Black women, we’re taught to suppress our feelings, so we can be strong for everyone else, failing to make our emotional needs priority. 

“I wanted to create a safe place for women to feel free to not be OK.  If you need to cry, have someone to just listen, a hug from another daughter or if one just wants to sit in silence and not share, you can do so without judgement. 

“Grief is indeed a process and can be very complexed. In our gatherings, tools and information is shared to help daughters navigate getting through the holidays/special occasions.”

As she was speaking, I felt her love and compassion coming through the Zoom. It was right on time. I’ve had an extremely rough two months dealing with the loss of my mother and sister. Jennifer has such a sweet and caring spirit; I could feel her heart and arms comforting me. I’m a bit shy, so she’ll learn about that when she reads this article.   

With Mother’s Day approaching soon, the first session of 2023 was a Dessert Social and Discussion led by Carol Ebron, MA, LCMHC, Grief Counselor and Angela Nicholson, BSN, RN Community Nurse Educator of Trellis Supportive Care. The ladies took in all the information, conversation and questions that were shared.

“We do four two-hour sessions a year and each session has a different purpose. In April 2023, we’re going to have a Brunch and Brush (painting). It’s going to be a beautiful, fun and exciting fellowship with women that have experienced losing their mothers

Jennifer Jeter said it was difficult in the beginning for her after losing her mother, so that’s what gives her the passion to help others get through. “Sometimes we need someone just to listen. And that’s why we’re here. My faith in God has sustained me through this process. My favorite scripture is Jeremiah 29:11(NIV), For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ I know that I have hope and a future, although she is no longer here with me and I want other daughters that are dealing with the loss of their mothers to know the same.” 

In 2024, there will be the launch of the IAMMD Foundation that will include a scholarship for a high school senior whose mother has passed away. For more information and if you would like to join I Am My Mother’s Daughter, please feel free to contact Jennifer L. Jeter at 336-251-7640, jenljeter@gmail.com, or on Facebook. 

My phenomenal Person of the Week is Jennifer L. Jeter.